Wasting Time - the deliberate act of wasting time instead of working.
Most people would be ashamed to admit what I am about to impart. Yesterday, I watched 4 films and twittered all the way through them with my wife (who was in the same room) and fellow Hobo-Bonobo contributor Lego Indiana Jones (Who is up north, so that is fair enough).
Anyone would think I had nothing better to do, after all, with my announcements about becoming a writer and dedicating my time to my art, is twittering for 6 hours really a sensible use for your time? Well, yes actually, it was a very enjoyable and amusing experience.
We started our own "Bad Film Club" a few weeks ago after seeing a few other twitter folk do something similar. Their film tastes were not quite bad enough for my liking though, even if they did do the holy grail of bad films, The Happening.
Our first stab at this was with "For Your Eyes Only", this, as you can imagine was an Ali Baba style cave of comedy riches, what with Moore looking pretty elderly and a very young girl lusting after him. We next attempted "The Spy Who Loved Me". I know what you are thinking now, The Spy Who Loved Me? That is a great Bond film!? Yes it is, but Lego only had a couple of Bond films on DVD, so we made do. It was irrelevant anyway, as I fell asleep by the time Bond got the Lotus, so it was a write off. It seems the best and easiest way to do this is to use Sky Movies, as all watching a DVD isn't reliable enough, some may be slightly ahead, or behind.
Last night though was a comedy bonanza. Sky (God bless them) showed the following 4 films one after the other, FX: Murder By Illusion, FX 2: The Deadly Art Of Illusion , The Mechanik and Nic Cage and his wig in Next.
Each film had its own merits, FX 1 and 2 were gems from childhood with Bryan Brown as a movie effects (Or FX) man who is hired not once, but twice, to make a crime look fake only for it to be real and he then be in trouble. They are both pretty rubbish, obviously, but there's something about Bryan Brown that just makes me laugh. Not with him obviously. Maybe the way he says "Bloody hell" alot. They certainly weren't the worst films of the evening. How could any film that stars both Bryan Brown and Brian Dennehy not be awesome? The cardigans Brown was wearing alone justified a ticket price, and Dennehy had a moustache in FX 1 and not 2, that is variety for you.
The Mechanik on the other hand, starred (and was directed by) Dolph Lundgren as an ex Russian special forces soldier out for revenge for the death of his wife and son at the hands of a bad bearded bastard. He also has to rescue a girl or something. The Mechanik takes my award for the most use of slo-mo in a motion picture. At one point someone lighting a cigarette was done in slo-mo, then you see someone walk ten yards in slo-mo and then someone looks at something, in slo-mo. So slo-mo was this film that we considered that rather being based in Russia, it was shot in Slo-Movakia. I think Dolph needs to be tested as he seems to believe that the world runs in slo-mo. Another feature of this visual feast that was odd was that every scene faded to black, like it was the end, almost like Dolph wanted it to end after every scene too.
Nic Cage and his wig were next up with Next. Nic Cage and his wig play a man who can see two minutes (or 12 hours, depending on how the plot needs it) into the future. You can see where he acquires this skill as at one point, pointlessly, a very elderly Peter Falk (Columbo) plays what I can only assume is his dad (or wig wrangler). Nic Cage and his wig are wanted by the FBI or CIA or whatever to help find a nuclear bomb which some terrorists have (Which must be two minutes away) and the terrorists want to kill Nic Cage and his wig so he cant tell them. That's about it. Apart from lots of CGI and explosions. It is stupid and Nic Cage and his wig need to stop making films and go and live on an island with John Travolta and his giant face. If Face Off were made now, how different it would be, one would have a face so big you could never fit it on a normal man's head and the other would need a vast collection of wigs. The logistics of making this film today, are mind boggling.
Anyway, so that is how rock and roll my Saturday night was. Yes, be jealous.
If you wish to partake in any future Bad Film Club's, let me know on Twitter (MrJohnRain). Keep rocking and rolling kids.
 Follow @MrJohnRain on Twitter
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| Comments about This Article |
| The deep north !!!
Comment By: lego indiana jones, 10 Aug 2009, Rating: 5/5  |
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